24 Hours in New York
By Saneera Dev
July 5, 2025Spending a day in New York City is like navigating a buffet line where everything looks good and you're probably underdressed. Here's a delightful itinerary that takes you from dawn to dusk with minimal effort and maximal enjoyment. Morning: Embrace Your Inner Philosopher in Central Park and the Upper West Side Begin with Breakfast on the Upper West Side
Kick off your morning on the Upper West Side, a neighborhood where the average resident has been cast as an extra in a Woody Allen film. Saunter over to Jacob’s Pickles, where Southern comfort food meets New York prices. Treat yourself to the chicken and pancakes combo, because why not start your day with a heart attack on a plate?
Wander Through Central Park
With your arteries slightly clogged, it's time to work it off with a stroll in Central Park. Enter at 72nd Street, which is also the approximate age of the average jogger you’ll encounter. Visit Strawberry Fields, the John Lennon tribute, and ponder why it’s always crowded with people who have no idea who he was. Snap a selfie at the Bow Bridge to pretend you’re in every rom-com ever made, and contemplate why New York pigeons are so alarmingly large. Afternoon: Get Cultured in Chelsea Explore Chelsea Market
Venture downtown to Chelsea Market, an indoor space where you can experience both claustrophobia and a sensory overload. This market has recently been declared a national habitat for food bloggers. Enjoy a light lunch by sampling everything you didn’t know you needed, like seaweed chips from Los Tacos No. 1 or some obscure-flavored kombucha from Melt Shop.
Visit the Whitney Museum of American Art
Feeling overfed, wander over to the Whitney Museum, the only museum where you’ll find people wearing more plaid than the exhibits. The Whitney boasts a collection so modern that even the security guards question its legitimacy. Admire pieces by Edward Hopper while internally debating whether it's high art or just a reminder to buy milk. Evening: Greenwich Village, the Former Home of Bohemians Now Housing Finance Majors Dinner in Greenwich Village
Dinner calls at L’Artusi, a chic Italian eatery that has recently implemented a policy against diners discussing gluten. Savor dishes like ricotta gnocchi, which is what pasta would taste like if it had an Instagram account.
Stroll Through Washington Square Park
Post-dinner, wander through Washington Square Park, where you can witness students from NYU ruminate on life’s big questions, such as, "Should I double major in Philosophy and Debt?" Check out the Washington Square Arch and pretend you're cultured while you silently wonder what it’s actually commemorating. Night: Giggles and Guffaws at the Comedy Cellar Catch a Show at the Comedy Cellar
End your night at the Comedy Cellar, a basement club where the chairs are uncomfortable, and the comedians have given up trying to sugarcoat their jokes. Given recent reports, the Cellar is the only place in New York where sarcasm is legally mandated. Laugh off your existential dread as you enjoy acts from both household names and those who aspire to afford rent one day.
Nightcap at The Blind Tiger Ale House
Wrap up your night with a trip to The Blind Tiger Ale House, where hipsters congregate to drink craft beers brewed with the finest ingredients, such as tears of failed writers. Choose from a selection of beers with names so pretentious, you'd think they were made by a French novelist.
